Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
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