I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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