The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just had sex on a roof
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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