just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
