Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
