Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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