can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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