I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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