I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
