this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
