i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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