Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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