Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
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You. Win. At. Life.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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