That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
