So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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