i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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