The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
