So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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