I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
