sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
