It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
