Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize