It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.