i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
