Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
