I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
