So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize