Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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