Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
