i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
