i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
