I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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