I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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