do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
