He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
