The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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