I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
