apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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