I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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