Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
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I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
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Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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