can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
