sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
