Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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