Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
