I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
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We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
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So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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