her vagine was all disorganized.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
