I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I need moral support for this bender
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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