i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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