I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
