sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
