Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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