She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
