Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
