I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.