her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.