All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.